Beast Blog

Christopher's Hamburgers

Last week I ventured to Christopher Burgers for an evening meal. I've been on the trail for a great Beast burger for a while, and recently noticed this establishment at the head of Solano. (Seemingly as part of the conspiracy to dupliicate every restaurant in Rockridge on Solano... see Cactus Taqueria.)

The menu is pretty simple - burgers with the expected toppings (cheese, bacon), a few other sandwiches, milkshakes and malts. I went with a basic burger and a side of fries. The burger was quite good. Not great -- no match for Joe's Cable Car Diner or Burger Joint. The fries were good -- in the In-n-Out style, but lighter, fresher, tastier.

So, if you're on Solano, and itching for a burger, it will satisfy. But -- I wouldn't go out of my way to eat there.

Smokehouse? Chokehouse

The Beast is rife with a variety of delightful cuisines, comparing favorably, often superiorly, to "The City." One laggard area, however, is hamburgers. Sadly, Beasties think Barney's Gourmet Hamburgers are just that, when, in fact, they're decent meat slathered in gimmick-y toppings. I mean, Joe, from Joe's Cable Car Diner, would kick Barney's ass in a ground-off.

Still, I held out hope -- we've got better barbecue, so we must have some good burgers, right?

I went to Citysearch for pointers, and tonight decided to try The Smokehouse. The readers there raved, and I'd gone past that spot innumerable times, beginning during my undergraduate years, and again recently when I moved back to the Beast.

The Smokehouse is most notable for being a free-standing walk-up burger joint. Many folks get their grub to go, though you can sit at a picnic table and eat on the spot.

I should have sensed trouble when the answer to my question, "What kind of cheese do you use?" was met with the singular reply, "American." Still, I soldiered ahead, ordering a hamburger "deluxe" (meaning lettuce, tomatoes, and mayo), with a side of fries and a chocolate malt.

My burger was ready after not long, and I took it to a bench to enjoy. Upon peeling back the paper, I was horrified. The patty was a wastrel-thin slab of grey meet, cooked to ensure that any flavor or juice had been removed. The burger sat atop a chunk of flavorless iceberg lettuce, relish, and mustard. (Anyone who knows burgers know that a good burger needs no mustard and relish -- those are dressings to bring flavor to a bland patty.)

The first bite supported my trepidation. The taste was comparable to McDonald's Big 'n Tasty, and nearly three times the price. The fries, though well cooked, had that odd chemical-ly flavor of a potato frozen too long. The chocolate malt was good, though too thick to drink through a straw.

In all, a disappointing experience. I'm quite surprised that the otherwise food-picky people of Berkeley seem to have been taken in by the venue's antiquity ("Since 1951"). I fear Berkeley is just not a burger town. And more's the shame.